Puzzels

Ever since I was little, I’ve always loved puzzles – things I can fix and finish on my own. But, there are just times when we can’t fix things our self. I really struggled with that idea- that I had to just put my trust in God and wait it out. A while ago, before we were married, Mike and I were discussing faith. I told him that the only way I’ve made it through some of the obstacles in my life is by sheer blind faith. When he asked what I meant by that, I told him I thought blind faith is putting your head down, barreling through a problem and knowing things will work out, not just hoping they will.

Through those difficult times, my mother and I took great comfort in a passage from Jeremiah 29.

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope. Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you. When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me, says the Lord. -- Jeremiah 29:11-14

When times get frustrating, the puzzle pieces don’t seem to fit and it feels like there is no purpose in some trials, screaming at the top of our lungs does sometimes feel better. But, with a little faith, blind or not, we can remember that God has a hopeful future planned for us and sometimes He’s just working His purpose out.

Hallmark Moments

Last night I went shopping for Mother’s Day cards and for the third year I stood in the aisle at a loss for words and thoughts. Nothing can say it right.

Got Talent. Will Travel.

It seems like everyone in Britain’s got talent. So at lunch today we were discussing what our talents would be (should we ever feel the need to enter a competition). I can fold a pretty mean origami star and a chair.

I have a dog that can sing a rousing “Take me out to the ballgame.” But, I don’t think having a talented dog counts as a talent.

My mother calls me her dramatic child. Is that a talent?

I could host a cooking show. I love to cook and I talk to myself a lot. Perfect! Maybe I missed my calling.

All this talk though reminded me of a spiritual gift assessment that I took a couple of months ago. Below are excerpts from my journal entry that day:

Primary
Administration
The gift of administration allows a person to organize people and resources for greater efficiency, effectiveness, and success. Administrators have the natural ability to apply resources where they will do the greatest good. Administrators are good with details and are deeply aware of how all the parts of a group or organization work together to achieve their goals.

Evangelism
The gift of evangelism is the gift of faith-sharing and proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ to those we meet. Evangelism is primarily a one-to-one or small group experience, grounded in building relationships with others and inviting them to make a decision for Christ. Gifted evangelists do not force their faith on others, but offer relationship with God as a gift, and are ready to tell the story of God and Christ in their own lives.

I can’t say the administration part surprised me too much. I do appreciate order and effective structure. I was surprised by the evangelism and apostleship. I consider myself to be a pretty reserved person, one who’s not great at building and nurturing relationships, so when I saw that these were gifts of mine I started to wonder how often I’m wasting gifts from God.

I wonder if I’m paying enough attention to the opportunities God presents me, and if I do notice them, am I reponding in the right way- the way that would best utilize my gifts.

Maybe I am finding my own way to evangelize.
Check out your spiritual gifts at the UMC Web site.

Jesus in a Kit Kat bar?

Jesus in a Kit Kat bar?
Is that optimism, faith or just a sheer desperation to see Jesus?

On this rainy, icky day, it’s pretty easy to feel sullen and uninspired, so why not look for Jesus in small and unexpected places?

Where do you see God?

I see Him in…
people who slow down driving through puddles because they actually see the pedestrian they’re about to drench.
that little twinkle of the eye when people smile.
tears.
wildflowers.
turtles and turtle tattoos.

I hear Him in…
church bells.
forgiveness.
unexplained and unexpected laughter.

Sure, Jesus could be in Kit Kat bars. I guess we need to pay more attention to what we eat. And who we pass by… And maybe listen a little better… And…

How’s My Driving?

Do you ever just find yourself wishing people came with 800 numbers?

This morning on my commute to work I decided to put down my book and watch the world go by. I couldn’t help noticing how many trucks, minivans and semis had bumper stickers saying, “How’s my driving?” and then listing an 800 number to call for complaints or suggestions. I didn’t see one on the little Honda that nearing smashed into my car last night, and I’ve yet to see one on any of the people clogging up the self checkout lane at the grocery store. But wouldn’t it be great if there was? Seriously… think of the possibilities.

Thank you for calling the service hot line. All calls are confidential but may be recorded for training purposes. Para español, oprima numero ocho.

Press 1 for complaints. Sorry. Box is full. Please call back at a future time.

Press 2 for comments or suggestions. No kidding. We’ve tried that – told her a hundred times, actually. But, thanks for letting us know.

Press 3 for frequently asked questions. So is this person crazy or what? Yes. Undoubtedly yes!

Press 4 for translations. What he meant was he’s bored with you and is moving on. No, he’s not calling again.

I wonder what my hotline would be flooded about. And if they’re not saying anything about me, am I really accomplishing anything with my life?

You know what would be another great sticker for people to have? “Warning! Stay back 200 ft.” But that’s another topic all together.

Photos from my Earth Day walk

Zen in the city

Wisteria at the DMA

Roadside beauties

Let there be Green on Earth

Today’s KRLD Listener Poll is “Do you take Earth Day seriously?” At last check opinion was heavily leaning toward no.

Mainly this made me wonder what the heck was there to “take seriously.” I am certain there is an Earth. I am also certain that there is an April 22. Is it that the initiative isn’t a serious part of their lives? Or that they could care less if we save the world?

I’m a fan of saving the world. I would like for my grandchildren to be able to walk down the street without being ankle deep in trash. I drive a highly efficient car that is clean-burning diesel and gets over 40 miles to the gallon. I take the bus to work 4 times a week reducing my driving by 44 miles a day. I recycle and use reusable shopping bags (when I remember) and I almost always drink my coffee out of a mug. We wash laundry in cold water and have energy efficient light bulbs. See… I’m a fan of saving the planet. I’m actually a bigger fan of saving money. I’m far more frugal than I am “green.” But, I think that’s the case with most companies that are boasting their trendy “greenness.” When did it become a negative to say, “We’re saving money by reducing our electricity bill”? Why is it all of the sudden, “We’re turning off lights to be green”?

But, I will hop down off my soap box and spend some time enjoying the beautiful day on this beautiful Earth that God created. I might just take my camera so I can spread a little Earth Day love later.

God and IT Consultants

God and IT consultants work in mysterious ways.

I’m happy to say that I survived yesterday without trashing any machinery. After doing every tricky maneuver I could think of to get my monitor back online I did what any reasonable person does… I called IT. They walked me through everything I had just tried. Yep, still not working. Arg!!!
Well, we’ll come out tomorrow and take a look at it.
Alright, but it may not be in one piece by then.

Breathe. Sleep.

So my mother, in all her infinite wisdom and sensing my near hostile mood, sent me Psalm 23 for the workplace. IT sent Doug. Doug tried everything from yesterday then said, “Oh. Your switch is broken. I’ll grab a new one from the car.” And wouldn’t you know… it works.

You know all those times when you do everything right, try as hard as you can, and things just don’t seem to work out… isn’t it nice that at least every once in a while you fix a switch and presto! Good as new!

I can’t loan out Doug, but at least I can pass on the Psalm.

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray before I speak
and to do all things without murmuring and complaining.
He reminds me that He is my Source
and not my job.
He restores my sanity every day
and guides my decisions that I might honor Him in everything I do.
Even though I face absurd amounts of emails, system crashes,
unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping co-workers,discriminating supervisors, and an aging body that doesn't cooperate every morning,
I will not stop-- for He is with me!
His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.
He raises me up,
even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own,
Even when the company threatens to let me go.
His faithfulness and love
are better than any bonus check.
His retirement plan beats every 401K there is!
When it's all said and done,
I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer;
and for that,
I bless His name.

Breathe

Is it green to through a monitor out the window?

I’m not sure it is. I think there are better ways to dispose of computer equipment, so in the spirit of Earth Day being this Wednesday, I’ll keep my actions in check.

Something that amazes me though… how do people have time to dread Mondays? I hardly have time to breathe on Mondays. I get to work at 8, look up and it’s noon, eat, fellowship (i.e. listen to lunch table woes) then back to work, look up again and it’s time to run for the bus. Tuesdays. No Wednesdays. Err, Fridays I have time to dread. So, when my computers decide to break, do they know I’ll have to find the time to squeeze them in on Mondays.

Seriously. Just a little help in this whole cosmic order! If I promise to recycle, can you make my monitor work?

We are Not Alone

In service this morning we recited text from Genesis 1. They were words that I’ve probably said and heard a hundred times, but something about them caught my attention this time. “Then God said, ‘Let us make humankind in our image, according to our likeness.” Let us. Then it occurred to me… who was God talking to? Everything else in Genesis 1 is singular (he, not we or they.) So who was with him?

In every Bible version I’ve found, Genesis 1:26 is plural. Only one added the words Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I’m not a Biblical scholar, or any kind of scholar, really, but I found that fascinating.

For some reason it just stuck with me that God was not alone. Even in his darkest moments, before there was light, before the sun rose on a new morning, God was never alone. So, how can we ever be truly alone?

Raindrops

I’m trying to remember what I used to do, when I was a kid, on rainy days. I loved to color. Watch Disney movies. Play make-believe. Work on a puzzle.

I wonder what she’s doing today. It’s too wet to go outside and swing or run through the grass. Is she bored, or lost in her own world?

I think the hardest part, the part that hurts the most, is the wondering. God how I wish I could know her.

I get this tight knot in the back of my throat that burns like fire. My eyes well up. It just hurts. Why does it still hurt this much?

One thing I used to love was sitting down with warm popcorn. Maybe she does too. So, I’m just going to sit here with some popcorn and listen to the rain against the windows.

Deprivation

Yesterday at the lunch table I told the crowd that the Rangers were going to win that night. There was no way they would be swept two series in a row. They wouldn’t go six days without a win. And, in I believe a fit of payback and frustration, they blew by the Orioles 19 to 6. They could not go six days without winning.

It made me think about things I would not want to go six days without.

Seeing Mike’s smile. The joy and warmth that comes from seeing him smile is nothing short of healing.

Thinking of Kate. I think it would actually be impossible to go more than a day. It’s inevitable. I need to picture her smile in order to keep myself whole.

Cooking. I find comfort in my kitchen. Even if I was only able to make toast in a hotel lobby, I would feel out of balance if I wasn’t able to make something with my hands.

Laughing. I’ve had days when I thought I would never smile or laugh again. I’ve learned that thought is far more damaging, far more limiting than the original pain ever was.

Hearing God’s voice. It’s in unexpected places – that’s for sure. But I can hear Him in quiet meadows, in subtle humor or loud, honking horns – how ever He needs to catch my attention at the time.

Of course there are other small things as well… Coffee. A potato in some shape or form. A fresh salad. My camera. All these I could live without though. But the first five… I would never want to be without.

Perspective

This morning on the way to work, in order to avoid hitting the recycle bin which I could have easily moved and then backed out of the driveway, I did some fancy maneuvering and got out of my spot, but I then had to go the opposite direction out of the alley and circle back in front of the house. Harrumph! I added about 45 seconds to my commute!

As I drove down my street I saw a small animal trotting along one of the patios. A cute Chihuahua? A grey cat? No, an opossum. As my car approached slowly it started trotting along the bricks looking bewildered and lost. I imagine pretty scared. My car was growling at it, after all. But it was daylight. And I was pretty certain this opossum was out of its element. I watched it as it scampered along trying to find a safe place to hide and regroup. Where was that darn creek? I thought I left it right here.

Great… now 1 minute late. I can make up time. I’ll go 5 over down George. And then the light changed. Drat! 2 and 1/2 minutes late! Oh good the bus is still here – park – run fast. No… wait bus! 16 and 1/2 minutes late. At least I have a book.

Here comes my stop. Push the tape. “Stop requested.” There goes my stop. Umm… That was my stop. Could this morning seriously get worse? Grumble… grumble. OUCH! Yes, I could sprain my ankle. Limp. Limp. Shake it off. I look silly limping.

Safely in my chair. Wow! What a tough morning. Could I be more off? Focus. Why does everything have to be so hard?

Well… actually my day isn’t starting as bad as some I’ve seen. At least I’m not completely lost. I could be stumbling around, half blind, just trying to find a safe place to cry. Now the question becomes: do I ask the Lord for a break? Or, do I ask the Lord to give others the break.

I think the gut reaction is to ask for the break. Maybe the break comes in God opening our eyes just a little wider, helping it all be a little more clear. A little perspective is all we really need.