Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Sorry, No Refunds

No one said being a wife would be easy. So last night when it came time for “wife duty” and I had to be a sudden seamstress, I actually wondered for a brief moment if Mike was having buyer’s remorse. It seemed simple and routine. Take patch. Sew on karate outfit. (Sorry Honey, gi. It’s called a gi. Not pajamas. Not costume. Gi.)

Simple. Right?

Right..... My sewing machine had never reduced me to tears before last night. I found myself talking to the machine. Yes- out loud. Please sew, you stupid thing. No don’t break. Stupid bobbin thread.

Well. You get what you pay for. Sorry Mike. And if he wants a refund… sorry, you get what you pay for. At least I can cook. Maybe he’ll keep me if I make up for the patch with a batch of cookies.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Pieces

Today we had a farewell Tex-Mex lunch for someone who I am so grateful for coming into my life.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Rocks

I've been thinking a lot lately about rocks. The kind you build upon. The kind that weigh you down. The kind you want to throw in anger. The kind you want to skip gently along the surface to pass peaceful time.

Lots of rocks.

Maybe it’s age. Maybe it’s just transitioning. But more important to me than I’ve ever noticed before is the quality of other people in my life. Are those around me the strong rocks I can build my life around and upon? How can I build up a better protective fortress?

I started Bible study tonight with a group of girls from my church group, and because God is nothing but a subtle nudger, the selected passage was from the Book of Samuel – the story of Hannah.

And as Hannah prayed, ‘There is no Rock like our God.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Blossom

People who have the inspiration and willpower to write everyday continually amaze me. I mean… I can copy down an inspirational quote. I can have great, funny conversations with people. But in my daily commitment to devotion and creating happiness, I am often in a loss of how to write down something I would feel has meaning.

My rantings and ravings, while to me might be therapeutic, are not necessarily great literature, and since I’m not really an expert on much, I struggle with what I can say. What I can do daily is look around me, find the things that are affecting me that day – making me laugh, cry, smile, scream – and take note of how God is trying to speak to me.

So today I am going to begin a new project, sort of a platform for inspiration. There will be plenty of times that I’ll have my own stories or motivations, but I am also seeking the motivations of my world. I’m going to try to capture my world through pictures, and when I’m lacking that inspiration I’ll see what my world is telling me. Today I will turn over and new leaf and blossom.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Possibilities

Life is full of possibilities… this just isn’t one of them.

My frustration level is near max. After four completely annoying days battling for authority with my computer (it, by the way, is winning), I’m resigning. I QUIT! I’m not actually quitting my job, but I’m giving in. You win, Computer! Happy now?

A few moments ago I got so angry after another program shutdown on me that I banged my fist on the desk and yelled out, “Are you kidding me?!” It wasn’t. I heard no laughter. And my hand is red and throbbing. So this is the moment, the turning point, where I can only laugh at myself along with my computer.

There are certainly plenty of things I’ve given up on in the past – none of which have killed me… so many times when I looked at my life and saw it filled with possibilities and potential. There was the time that I wanted to be a violinist. So my mom got me a violin, I fiddled a couple of lines, hit some ear-piercing chords and retired my bow after about a week. Maybe I’d be better at the drums. “Mom, mom, mom! I want to play the drums! I need some drums!”
Always the practical one, “Maybe we’ll start with a practice pad and see how you like it.”
“No, Mom! I need drums. Just think of the possibilities!”

Then there was the time I wanted to be an artist… or a chef… or a professional bowler… or a world-traveling journalist…
A butcher. A baker. A candlestick maker.
Okay. I’ve never wanted to be a butcher.

My life is full of possibilities. I know that not everything is possible. I know that I can’t be anything I want to be. But I also know… there is nothing I can fail at that makes me less lovable to God. Maybe He even appreciates me trying. Maybe He found the time I thought I could be a karaoke lounge singer funny, too.

My life is full of possibilities… maybe even the possibility of making it through this day with my sanity.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Coffee and Catch-up

I just had a wonderful afternoon with a good childhood friend as we sipped lattés and caught up on each other’s lives. We hadn’t seen each other in nine years and obviously had a lot of stories and laughter to share… All of this was thanks to facebook. But, as I’m about to shout the praises of facebook from the rooftops, it made me start wondering how all of these great friendships fade away and why it takes the completely impersonal Internet to reunite us.

It’s easy to think about how losing touch happens. All it really takes is a small lack of effort and then whoosh… life just flies by. I couldn’t believe it had been nine years. But as we sat there recounting some of the highlights of that near decade, sure enough, a lot has happened in those action packed years.

Networking sites like facebook are great because they allow you to re-connect with people you haven’t seen or talked to in years, but are you really reestablishing any friendship or just adding them to a list of online associates? Some of the people that I would consider friends I rarely see. Close relationships are whittled down to me knowing they hate Fridays, just got back from the gym or which cartoon character they are most like. Sometimes I do learn big things, like the time I found out a friend was in labor, had a family member who needed prayers or had extra tickets to tonight’s game.

Is this really as good as it gets? We take what we can get and are resigned to not needing the closeness that we once did? I don’t really know. Today’s not about that though… today is about the joys of reuniting with old friends, being able to pick up where we left off and catch up on great laughs. Today is about being grateful for the little things – like the impersonal-made-personal Internet.