Taking off the wait

Breakfast: check. Nap: check. Just about to watch my Rangers play a day game. Later, I need to make a casserole for potluck brunch tomorrow. What else did I do today? Oh yeah,

I ran 15 miles!

So, after my last update I got the week’s schedule and saw that we weren’t moving down mileage yet. I wouldn't have to wait for my chance after all. Why was this week’s run even more terrifying? Well, first off, I missed the entire training week due to my ankle. I decided that I should rest it if it was still hurting. Seems fairly logical, but I tend to be more of the it feels better today so let’s try it out kind of person. I didn’t want to make it worse though. I knew it was just a mild sprain – I would wait for it to heal. But time off makes me nervous. I know it was only a week, but I showed up for this morning’s run feeling out of shape and ill-prepared for what was ahead of me.

14.55 miles + 5 hill repeats is enough of a challenge without throwing up a mental barrier. I just kept telling myself time didn’t matter, but I would finish the miles. I will finish!

There’s something humbling about knowing that when I crossed that finish line today I would have still had 11 miles to go. But one giant mental road block at a time. I’ve checked this week’s plan now, so I can accurately say that we will be only running 12 miles + 5 hill repeats next week. But when we take on the 15-mile day in 2 weeks, I’ll know it’s just another pleasant Saturday run and I am strong enough to finish.

106 days to go

Watch out for that broken road!

About 1 mile in to my 13-miler today (and of course that’s a Luke’s 13, so really 13.77 plus 4 hill repeats, making it about 14.7 – but who’s counting), I stepped off the road onto the limestone gravel and rolled my ankle. It just stung a little at first, so I decided to shake it off and keep going. I took it easy on the hill repeats at mile 4.5 and then kept going with my group. I could tell my ankle was getting pretty sore and my knee was starting to hurt, telling me I was compensating and running with poor form. I was keeping up and pushing through, though, at least until we reached the hairpin turn. I literally had to hop on my left leg to make the turn.

So, when one of the girls said she wanted to cut the run short because she wasn’t feeling well and asked me if I wanted to head back with her, I said yes. It was probably stupid to push my ankle more if it was hurting and there were a lot of hills coming up on the route, but in hindsight I wonder if I could have made it through the run.

Today I would have passed my magic number – the longest run I would have recorded. I feel like it’s been so long since I’ve been able to reach any milestones or challenge myself since I haven’t been competing in races. So I was looking forward to today.

I think I’m at least partly aware of how ridiculous I sound as I’m resting here typing with my leg in a compression sock and my ankle propped up on a pillow and covered in ice, but I kind of wish I’d have kept going. Next week we’ll go back to 12 miles for a recovery long run (sort of oxymoronic, isn’t it?), so it will be 2 more weeks before I can take on my magic number on again.

One thing I know – I’ll be ready in two weeks. I won’t step off the road onto a rock. I won’t take it easy the week before. I will conquer those hills. I will make every twist and turn and hill of Sperry loop. I will bring it.

Today… RICE. Tonight… the ballgame. A girl’s got to keep her perspective.

113 days to go

Beyond reason

There comes a point in every long run when I wonder what the heck I’m doing out there. Very little of it makes sense, really. Waking up at 4:40. Putting my knees and ankles through the pounding routine. For that matter, paying to do all of it. Shoes. Races. Training. All for what?

Today we set out for a nice 12-mile run with 4 hill repeats. No problem. This week I was ready for those hills. I did seven hill repeats in training this week – the six required and an extra for good measure. Those hills were not going to beat me. I ate a banana before my run in hopes of not getting another never-ending leg cramp. I was going to knock out those 12 miles and not be last in my group. Except what was billed as 12 miles was really 12.7. Add in the hills and we were pushing 13.6. What the? How’s that fair? Like I said, it doesn’t always make sense.

But more than just a reason to get out and run, and maybe most importantly, there needs to be a reason to keep running. To keep running when the side stitches kick in at mile 9. To keep running when your watch says 12 and you’re nowhere near the finish. The worst – to turn right when you can see the lake straight ahead (which will get you to the finish) and it makes no sense to run the other direction. There has to be another reason to keep going other than your car being back at the starting line. Because, I’m pretty sure that if I’d lain down by the side of the path someone would have scooped me up and taken me back to my car.

So why keep going? Simple. It’s beyond reason. It makes no sense. Period. But for some reason I love it, and I keep doing it to myself. Pray for me. Better yet, let’s just hope the people who are ready to give up – at anything they might be doing – realize that sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. There may be no reason other than being able to look back and say, “I tackled that and I survived.”

120 days to go

Because my life is more than just running, I’m often forced to balance my schedule of work and home with my training routine. Just like anyone else out there who moves and breathes at the same time, I am often forced to make choices, to find my true priorities in life. As we’re getting closer to the audition dates for “Quilters”, I’ve been trying to decide if my mental and emotional capacity could withstand the additional load. I know that work will be very busy as we go into the annual finance campaign and I know that my mileage will keep getting steeper as the Rock gets closer. I was really struggling with whether or not I should even audition.

And then, because sometimes God knows we need help making decisions, Mike found out his reunion date – October 8 – which happens to be the final performance date of the show. So, it looks like we’ll be headed to San Francisco so I don’t have to head to auditions. Problem solved, right?

Sure… except now I have the overwhelming problem of focusing on what reunions mean. My 10th will follow Mike’s 20th by one week. Do I have far too many forehead wrinkles for a 28-year old? Have I accomplished everything I should have in 10 years? Am I the kind of woman people expected Mike to show up with at his 20th? Does any of that even matter? I’m sure the latter is the most important, but I’ve always been hyper focused on other people’s opinions.

To things I can control… I’ve found some great running routes in San Francisco and even an 8K race on the Sunday we’ll be there. Tonight I’m looking forward to a nighttime run around the lake. Life is good.

Cleansing thoughts

In no thanks part to my morning sludgery, yesterday I was forced to take my daily run to the afternoon streets. 15-minute warm up, 6 hill repeats, 30-min cool down, no less than 105 degrees. Even keeping to the shade – that was hot. When I was asked how my run was, the only word that came to mind was “cleansing”.

 

I’m pretty sure, if given the chance and proper hydration, I could sweat every negative thought and emotion out of my body. It was almost therapeutic. I almost enjoyed it. Almost.

And because I decided just five more minutes when my alarm went off at 4:40, I get a chance to do it all over again today. So, for my quick 55-minute jaunt down the Katy Trail, I will be channeling visions of saunas and relaxing spas and thinking about how cold it’s going to be on race morning in December. All I know is after barely making it through last Saturday’s training run, I will not fall behind. I may, however, reconsider this whole sleeping in thing – at some point the extra sleep just won’t be worth it.

Tomorrow is t-minus four months, but I’m still six weeks away from my next race. It’s time to get focused. It’s time to sweat away all the excuses and just run.