Making it happen

Something that I struggle with every morning, regardless of it being a morning I’m supposed to get up and run or not, is that energetic, spring-out-of-bed mentality. There are times when I know I need to get up, I know that something is waiting for me, someone is counting on me, and so I get up with little resistance, often before my alarm even goes off.

When Mike and I were on a mission trip a couple months back, I would wake up before my alarm, often an hour early, with excited, anxious anticipation. Saturday mornings when I’m supposed to meet people to volunteer or I have a choir rehearsal, no problem. Race days – I can’t wait to get up.

So where is that excited, anxious anticipation in my everyday life? I have something waiting for me. My job. My sneakers. I have someone counting on me. ME. And for someone who is a tough critic of herself and has at many times disappointed herself, shouldn’t that be enough?

Maybe where I’m falling short is how I’m valuing things. In mission and service I’m seeing my efforts have an impact. It’s my chance to brighten up the world. Race days give me a chance to challenge myself, to push myself, and they’re days that it’s just me against me. It seems to often that the “everyday” just pulls me down. Life gets in the way of me being able to live. Why is that? Why do I let that happen?

Let’s see if I can’t challenge myself to find the challenge and value in each “everyday” day.

Today’s miles: 5 Days left: 190

Rest

A day of rest. In the midst of training, in the midst of life, we all need time to rest. We’re headed into a holiday weekend. An extra day off and time to renew. Last week, between the final week of the show (I was in a play called “Anatomy of Gray”) and the full load at work, I let busyness overwhelm me. I neglected time with my husband and time with myself. My training schedule went out the window. My routine went out the window. And guess what, so did my spirit. I could tell I didn’t have the same life in me.

The art of balance is such an evasive dream. We aspire to be everything to everyone. Ultimately, I must, we all must, surrender to that fictitious divinity. I can only ever be me. I can push myself to be stronger, to endure more, to be more. I can push myself to be faster, smarter, sharper, more alert. But I cannot ever be perfect. Not in this life.

And so, to be stronger, I rest.

Day 3

Today, in my Nike inbox, I had a message. “Congratulations on passing 500 miles! Keep on running!” It’s completely amazing to think that I’ve already reached that marker after starting running in the fall of last year. When I think back to my first day of “running” all I can remember is how bad I was and how little I felt I’m accomplished.
August 28, 2009 – I remember setting out to complete two miles – down to the little pond and back. I walked about ¾ of a mile then jogged the rest. My pace: 12 minutes, 34 seconds per mile. That was 26 minutes and 15 seconds of wondering if I’d made a huge mistake. But I kept on pushing myself. If I did .2 miles running on Monday, I wanted to do .25 miles of running Tuesday. Mainly I never gave up. I knew that the only thing that could keep me from finishing the 10K I was originally training for was me. So today I celebrate and just keep on running.

Day 2

This morning I had a quick run around the neighborhood park, just me and the early morning Texas sun. I’m surprised I don’t run in the morning more often, the sky’s pink. The air around me is quiet. It’s almost like God’s surrounding me with some of my favorite things, just inviting me to soak it in for a little while. Something to remember as I’m running franticly through my “real” life. Just breathe in the beauty around me.

One Foot in Front of the Other

I printed out something very exciting, and yet somewhat terrifying, today… my full marathon training program. 28 weeks. 195 days. 1,000 miles.

In three weeks I will complete my fifth half marathon in six months. That sentence right there is mind boggling to me. Especially since one year ago the thought of running a mile was so unfathomable it was laughable.

This is the story of what motivation can do. It can trick you into strength. It can keep you in bed. Leave you on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. Or drive you to the finish line after a grueling mile of struggling to breathe.

This is the story of the sweat, tears, blood and cheers of a new runner and the quest that we all share… finding the strength to get through each day, one foot in front of the other.

Day 1:
Already behind on my first goal – go for a run at 6 a.m. It’s a tough call… beat the Texas heat or beat the snooze bar one more time. Maybe I need some kind of motivation? Some new fangled carrot. Give me a couple of hours to ponder that. No excuses today though. I’m not getting behind before I even start.

Today’s scheduled milage: 3 mi (8 mi if you ask my overlapping half program) – we’ll aim for 5 to split the difference