Forgiveness

I’ve been taking some time to reflect on all of the things that have happened or changed over the past year. One of the things that comes to mind is the obvious fact that I’ve been keeping a journal – most of which I’ve posted in this blog. Since Lent I’ve been taking time every day to catalog the emotions and experiences I’ve had that day, see how they relate to my journey with God and thank God for another day for growth. One of the books I’ve read in this recent journey is “Soul Feast,” by Marjorie Thompson. After going to a spiritual formation retreat lead by Marjorie, my eyes were really opened to how important it is to commune with God regularly. As I’ve said before… I’m not a Biblical scholar, or any kind of scholar, but I enjoy learning new things. One thing I’d not learned how to do though was talk to God about sin. It seemed like such a formal, incomprehensible word to me. I got big sins (murder, false idols, etc.), but everyday we-are-constantly-sinners sins I didn’t grasp well. A big thing I took from Soul Feast was how sin is like an arrow missing off target. Sin is missing the mark. That just seems so human – so understandable to me.

There are so many times I know that I’m off track or just not hitting the marks I want, but rarely would I have thought of that before as sin. But, when I’m not living the life God desires for me, when I’m off target, that’s a sin. While that may make it suddenly seem like we’re all just constant sinners, I find comfort in that. God forgives us of our sins. All of them. So, if I just take the time to notice when I’m off track, not hitting my marks, I can ask for God’s help and guidance and all of those error marks are forgiven.

So, then the battle becomes forgiving myself. It’s those little things, those ‘well I could have been’s or ‘could have done’s that I rack my brain with. Why? God’s over it. Can’t I be too?